Last night I watched a good program on net TV. As you know I don’t have TV, if I have had one I would had trashed it. The PTSD has caused me to hate the whole TV thing after they sat and laughed at rape in a movie :-O (They, the abuser and my so called “mother”!) Both have a restraint order now.

The program I watched got me thinking how about all the little children that experience this war of abuse. The war you can’t escape of or have rest from like ordinary soliders have. You just don’t know when the bomb is dropped, and each time you die, but you are still breating and living! You can’t escape your own body the one he/she touched so wrongly.

As a grown up survivour I am still stuck in, anyone I meet on the street is posible and capable to do all the same shit as they did! He raped me, she hit me and noone saw anything, even when I told them. The fight to get believed in alone has been a PTSD case for me. Never imagined life would become like this.

I’m drifting in and out of the victim and survivour behaviours, and to have a complete normal life. That’s PTSD…

Here’ the Program I watched:

Marked by the war