Feels Good

After I crashed in the bottom of my stairs outside in August last year I gained a lot of weight. But this summer I got back in excersising after a long wait for physiotherapy after my MRI last december. See Norwegian healthsystem, lets wait and see what happens… (I usually say we got good time in dying living here being ill in any form)…

I feel much better healthwise and it feels so good being able to jog again, can’t remember last time I did, maybe it was lillehammer 2003?

So From this June 2017:

cropped-20170627_125150

To This November 2017:

20171104_222529

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To The Loosers The Devils

This one is for you

Who thought I would

Take you back

 

You thought

I might wait forever

You watched me hurt

Thought I would wait

I’ll be gone

 

This one is for you

Who thought I would

Take you back

 

When it is too late

To forgive

And there is no

Second chanse

I’ll be gone

 

This one is for you

Who thought I would

Take you back

 

When time is up

And moving on

Is all I can do

Leaving you behind

I’ll be gone

 

This one is for the loser

Who thought

I would take you back

 

I got someone

Who loves me true

Who been there always

We found each other at last

My American born Angel

 

Janne Helen November 2017

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My Friend MS

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When the phone

Goes flying through the air

Or a knife drops

Down on my toes and I bleed

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When I barely get my

breakfast and fall asleep again

Or when out walking

And walk like a drunk without the alcohol

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When my hand

Feel stuck in a closed doorway

Or when I am so dizzy

I can barely stand on my feet

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When I eat and

All I taste is paper in my mouth

Or my thoughts

Go all in chaos in my mind

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When I lost my voice

And couldn’t talk to anyone

Or I stand stuck on

Same spot for ages and can’t move

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When all it does

Is being in my way

Or stop me

From living life like I want to

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

It is just a friend

One have to adjust

To live with…

 

Thanks to MS it

Gives me days in the sun

So I get valuable D-vitamins

So I can live longer

And have better days

Living with you

Stuck in my body

 

Janne Helen Oktober 2017

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Little Moments…

You need to have some of them everyday to make you feel a littlebit alive, especially when you feel like a living dead kind of person like me.

I have these moments texting with mr wonderful I haven’t met yet, but long very much to be with ❤ Misses him like crazy and sometimes irritates you so much and just wonder why do I do this again? … Then it reminds you he ran away with your heart more than twentytwo years ago, that kind of love just don’t disapears ❤

Then I have these moments that can be just a feel of a raindrop on the skin, a sharp pain somewhere in the body, a cup of hot chocolate that gives a taste of heaven, a glass of icecold icetea that chills through your entire system, a talk on the phone with a friend or sending textmessages with a friend you haven’t heard from in ages and have the feeling you just spoke yesterday. Or that you have a “friend” that never leaves you called MS, the constant hickups in loosing things either a knife or the phone goes flying. The tingeling in your body somewhere or the hassle of trying tie your shoelasses for the 10time after walking 2 meters along the road because your fingers don’t work propperly. Then you realises boots wihout shoelasses best to wear. Either it’s good, bad or constantly irritating these moments is part of life making me feel alive more than just for a second.

Then you have these moments with your kid when he tells you he hates you, he loves you, he cries so much cause he misses you, or laugh so loud he looses his breath, play games and always send mom rock bottom loosing, or when he tells your cooking is the best in the world and wishes you could give him delicious meals everyday ❤

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Plan is to soon leaving Norway…

And as you see I am also turning my blog all into english. I won’t go back here when I have left… I will miss some people and some food, but most of all my time with my son here ❤

I wonder if Norway is gonna miss having me here? …

It hurst real bad to feel that my countrys laws are kicking me out of here… Why do governments and lawsystem think it should be okay to deprive ones human dignity and human rights get violated? …. Maybe I should taken it to the human rights court?  But I have allready spent 6 years trying change the law for nothing… It is changed some, but doesen’t matter for me… You who need it and get use for it you are most welcome for my hard work. (As long as they pass it through, that lawchange is in prosess…) – You will be given oportunity to get restraint orders more than one year, and when it is breached they get a footalarm. So I hope it was worth it for you ❤

 

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The Story About My Rolling Pin

I carried it in my handbag Jan 2010 – Jan 2014.

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Emptying out the apartment…

It has come closer to a leaving date and leaving Norway… It is kind of sad seeing all my stuff go, but I can’t bring it with me where I am going. Just a few things will come along.

Furniture with memories from a time when I went to high school and all I had was a stone as hammer and a few screwdrivers to put it together. Christmas decorations, books, games, CDs, sleeping bags with many camps and sleepovers, tea, cups, serving plates ,teddybears etc… It got really empty seeing the TV go, but I don’t really miss it. I have Netflix on PC. Kind of getting back the idea I had at college NOT having TV but I had to get one when Sept 11 happend and the world was falling apart… I dont think the world will fall more apart now, I haven’t really watched any TV programs the last couple of years anyway. I used to follow MGP, and other music program. I now read news online if nessesarry.

I look forward to a new life on the other side of the big Atlantic and to be with the worlds best man ❤

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