The Most Craziest I Have Done…

I did a tandem skydive in August 2013. My son was here on his summer holidays so he came with me. I knew some of the others that did do skydive with me. I must say that it is plain crazy to jump out of a plane and rely on some fabric to safely land on earth again. I am glad I was hooked up to another person to guide the parachute safely back to ground.

That feeling falling through the air is awesome. And the view of the world was amazing. My son was looked after by people on the ground. He came running to me when I had safely landed again. “Crazy mummy” lol yeah I agree with him 🙂

What is the craziest thing you ever done?

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My Happiest Memory…

It has to be the day I gave birth to my son. I remember sitting up on my knees in the hospital bed, yeah I believe in gravity. After a lot of pushing he finally came out and landed on the bed. I picked him up and was the first to hold on to him in my arms ❤ That moment is still my happiest memory in life.

What is your happiest memory?

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My Worst Memory…


My hands was tied up to the couch. The abuser tried to penetrate me but it hurt and I made a sound. He grabbed my neck and next thing everything went black and dead silent. I couldn’t even hear my body sounds. Next ting I remember is him on top of me and I was still tied up. He was breathing air into me and backed off in despair saying “You must not die”, all red faced and sweaty white T-shirt. Same time trying to shake my body. It was hard to breath I remember. The inside from my mouth and to my lungs felt like dry sandpaper. I was SO thirsty. He must had strangled me and made me unconscious so I stopped breathing. He had left marks on my neck that later disappeared.

It took a long time for the marks to disappeared. Just a few days later the person that gave birth to me noticed them and made a remark. “Stop pinching yourself it makes a mark”, I tried to explain what happened but she wouldn’t listen. I went out in the hall way and looked in the mirror. My fingers were to small to fit into the marks. I grabbed a hairbrush and smashed the mirror.

Later I went on using a scarf to cover it up. I wore it in school classes too, even at swimming pool but there I ended up taking it off. I got remarks from a few but can’t remember what I told them.

So what is your worst memory?

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An Update…

Sorry I haven’t written much this year. The coronavirus has hit us all hard. So far I have staid safe from it.

My life didn’t change that much. I live alone and have one best friend I see often before the virus hit. I used to go to cinema, out eating and for at least one walk every day.

This last week I have been able to eat out and meet up with my friend again. We just don’t hug. It was good to see her again and we ate at ice cream shop in the city. I also ate at Burger King and at a cafe last week as they have opened up for service again.  I have kept up going for a walk at least once a day now that the gym is still closed. The cinema has opened again and I am not sure when I dare to go there yet.

Stay safe and take care ❤

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Happy New Year

Wishing you all a Happy New Year with a song Trip Around The Sun with Kenny Chesney

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Can I get well again?

I wish I could say yes, but the answer is no. I’m stuck for life with MS. Unless there comes up a miracle cure for it in my life time.

I had set a goal to get along with MS and battle it with medication that put the disease at hold. But I think one of my lessions are affecting my balance and keep getting me dizzy every time I go for a walk anywhere. Even small walks indoors get me dizzy. No I’m not drunk, I don’t drink. Its been long ago I had something strong to drink.. That crushes my hope to even try get back in the working life.

I have started to go the gym two times a week to see if I can battle the dizziness. My GP told me to try it out so we will see. Treadmill and rowing machine. And not to forget to stretch out after each time to avoid stiffness. I also try keep up getting a walk every day when I’m not going to the gym.

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Crazy Impostors on Twitter

I don’t know how many people there is that pretend to be someone else, but there is a lot of them on Twitter. I don’t know what they want to achieve from their victims other than to lead them to believe they are in love with them and some lure them from money.

I don’t have a lot of followers on Twitter only around 150. Out of them I have some celebrities like Nicolas Cage, Thomas Rhett, Alan Jackson, Keanu Reeves and lots of Kenny Chesney profiles. I have talked with some of them, some have asked for get them iTunes cards. Some have used poorly photo shopped pictures and I know they are an impostor. I find it sad and a little frustrating people go the length to lure people for money and worst of all lure them emotionally. Actually I drives me a little mad because the celebrities have worked so hard to get where they are.

Twitter is broken for my part I won’t answer back to any celebrities through there anymore. If so any celebrity would like to talk with me a small nobody from Norway they need to find another way to get to me.

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I been a fool to believe that a celebrity would be in love with me… It involved paying money. He used photo shopped pictures that I discovered after two years. We never met  for real in that period of time. Only chatted online no live video or phone calls. I let him use his status as excuse. A professional fraudster that might do the same to other people than me too.

It feels like empty space and fooled around emotionally too leave me in a state of shock. I hadn’t been in a relationship in years when I got involved with him two years ago. It is going to take me time to have any faith in any man again…

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Out for walks

Lately I have taken some walks around my area where I live. Both in the woods and along the road. I have listened to the noise around me. Birds singing, aeroplanes above, dogs barking, people talking on the phone and with each other, cars, motorbike, ATV, bus, lorry and people talking with me. I have met people that were drunk, some was out jogging, some riding their bike, some sat at bench, some just out walking with their dog and some just walked.

… but the most annoying thing is me feeling dizzy. Like “drunk” but haven’t had anything to drink. I felt like walking on a boat in stormy weather and the waves are heavy. Lucky I keep on my feet and don’t crash to the ground. This is how my MS work when I am out walking. I wish there was some way to make the dizziness to vanish it’s sooo annoying!


Summer 19

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My Story…

First I will say this post will be the longest I ever have written and it will have many updates. I will tell my life story as a victim of abuse and sexual abuse. Some other memories too.


It began around age 2-3. The first time she hit me with her baking stick. I cried, and it stung over my fingers and on my thigh. I was too young to understand why. She must have been mad at me for something. It wasn’t last time she did that, it happened often.

I must have been around 3-4 years old when I went blueberries picking with my eldest brother. I had picked some into a cup when I suddenly see something amongst the berries. I ask my brother and point to it while my head is only centimeters away from it. He grabs hold of my hand and next I know I am flying away and lose my boot. The cup got left behind too. Later I got told it was a poisonous snake, an adder. Scary!


At age 4 I started bathing with my 6 year older sibling. The reason we had to bath together we had our own water supply and it was shortage caused us having to bath together. They watched him rubbing his body towards mine and him touching me. I didn’t like it and told my parents but they didn’t make him stop. We bathed together until I was 6 years. At the end he started putting his fingers inside me. He also had ejaculation in the water. I remember it as gush and jumped out of the water. I ran into the living room, but my father forced me back to the bathroom. On the way I grabbed hold of the door frame and a small piece of wood came loose with a nail stuck on it. My dad took it from my hand and hit me with it on my bottom, before he forced me  back into the tub and washed my hair with the gushy water.


I slept in my parents bedroom until I was around 6 years old. Then I was moved to sleep in sofabed sharing with the abuser. He touched me outside my night gown. Then he put his fingers in my pants and into my vagina as he did in the bathtub. I once confronted my mother what he was doing and didn’t wanted to sleep in the sofabed with him anymore. She refused to believe in me and told me I had to sleep there. I remember I held onto her shirt and tore it apart then I ran from upstairs where the bedroom was and down to my parents bedroom in protest against it. I ended up sleeping upstairs anyway.

I grew up on a farm. My father had a work car and my brothers sometimes drove it. One time my abuser drove it. I was laying in the back of it, if I had been seating I am not sure if i still be here… My eldest sibling was in the car too when it happened. The abuser drove fast and suddenly a big bang and sudden stop, we had crashed. I flew into the back of the front seats and ended on the floor. I was bare feet and ran to the barn and told my father what had happened. Then I ran to the house, the abuser was there too, he looked us in and both my grandfather and father tried to get into us. They sounded mad. Most likely they were conserned we were injured, but were kids and frightened by angry sounding voices.

From age 6 to 11 my abuser was touching my body and teasing me. He was annoyingly towards me. Pinched me and pulled my hair. But we also could play together on old fashion PC comodore 64 and 128. Also plaid with cars on a play mat.

At age 7 my grandfather died. The night before I had confided in my grandfather what my sibling had been doing to me. Touching me and  fingers in my vagina. He said he would confront my father with it. The next day I remember my mother and grandmother talking at the top of the stairs. I went outdoors and climbed in the window to see my grandfather, he was screaming in pain. I remember him red and sweathy. I opened up the buttons on his shirt as he asked me to and he asked me to call the docter. I went out the window and upstairs and told my mother to call the docter. I took the phone and started dialing number. She took the phone from me and placed it back down. I remember laying under the table and listen to my grandfathers loud screams from the basement. When my father came home they called for the docter and ambulance came to get him. I had my last hug with my grandfather while he was on the stretcher. He died before getting to hospital. I don’t know if everything could be different if she had called the docter when I told her to… I carried with me for a long time I might had triggered the heart attack he died of. Caused me think my father would get the same if I ever told him what his son was doing.

At age 9 I and my youngest brother watched Pinchcliffe Grand Prix. He went out of the room for s short while. When he came back he was rubbing his fingers so I got up and checked my eldest brother room. When I came in there the bin my brother had standing by his bedside table was on fire. I closed the window and closed the door behind me. I went down the stairs screaming to my mother that there was a fire in my brothers room., to me it all went in slow motion or I went so fast my brain reacted to it slow motion. She came running upstairs.I ran to the kitchen and turned off the stove. Then I ran upstairs to get my youngest brother and we got outside sitting by the flagstaff. I put my hands in front of his eyes so he wouldn’t see that she threw the burning bin out the window. She managed to put out the fire and the house was saved. If I hadn’t gone up and checked who knows what could had happened? I must thank school for all the drills we had about fire and close windows.


At my 11th birthday after the guests had left  I was alone with the abuser. It happened on the sofa upstairs. He sat me down and took off my pantyhose and pants. Then he put his finger up into my vagina again.

He took me upstairs from the living room from time to time. He started using different tools. Like a screwdriver, a wooden stick, hairbrushes both with metal and plastic. He used to tie me to the sofa with different ropes. I remember having so much pain in my vagina area I had troubles sit still anywhere including at school. I remember blood flowing into the toilet after he had used the different tools. It was before I got my period. I also remember throwing bloody pants into the bin, but she who gave birth to me took them out and cleaned them again. I once cleaned off the blood from the hairbrush and  a screwdriver while she watched me. She didn’t ask why all I had to do was clean them. I also used to stand on my head so the pain got in my head rather than in my private areas. I sometimes fell asleep doing that.


At age 12 I once was tied to the sofa upstairs. I screamed out in pain as he tried to enter my vagina. He reacted with putting his hands around my neck and squeeze. I lost consciousness and was brought back with him blowing air into me and him being all red and sweating, and screaming “don’t die, don’t die”! I felt millions of needles in my body so he must have revived me again. I felt so dry in my throat like sandpaper also in my mouth. It ached all over my body. I had bad marks on my neck after his fingers and covered it up with a scarf. Couple days later I confronted the person who gave birth to me. She commented to my marks on my neck and told her he had done that to me while I was tied to he sofa upstairs. She said “stop pinching yourself and leave bad marks”, like she didn’t believe in me. I asked her to make him stop harassing me and leave me alone. I heard her doing that on my way downstairs. After that he kept away for a long while.


Some months later an insident happened. I must had upset her very much because she came after me with her baking stick. I ran behind in the corner of the sofa in the livingroom. She started hitting my head, I reached for a pillow from the sofa and put it on top of my head but she kept hitting my head with the hard bottom end. In the end she had hit me so much and hard I became paralyzed. I could’t even think all I did was stare right ahead. My eyes was running and my mouth dribbled on to the floor so made a big pile. I remember my little brother had stood in the sofa jumping up and down while she lashed out on me. The rest of my siblings and father was laughing at the whole thing.


When I was 13 and half years old I had gotten room beside the abuser downstairs. All of a sudden one night he came into my bedroom. Laid over me and held his arm over my neck and told me “if you ever tell anyone again I will kill you”, (this saying still stay stuck to my mind). He started using condoms when he came on to me, and it happened all over the house. Even outdoors and in the barn. I tried many ways to block the opportunities for him to come on to me. I put a hairband in the key so It would stay stuck so he couldn’t enter my bedroom at night, but he found out and stole the key. I found another and did the same in the end he barged on the door so it got opened even when it was locked. One time he come on to me and pushed me on top of the kitchen table. After that I couldn’t eat meals sitting by the table. I took my plate to the livingroom. Sometimes I was denied to bring my plate and it was taken from me. I couldn’t explain why he had threatened me. Sometimes he came on to me in the livingroom and I ended up laying under a blanket naked when my parents came from the barn in the evenings. My clothes law in  pile on the livingroom table. One time we had visitors I had to go to the bathroom and tried grab the blanket around me, but she got a glimpse and commented “are you all naked”? I told her yes and pointed to he pile on the table and also told her to ask the abuser why. After that I was told to lay my clothes behind the couch instead of the table, go figure how she was thinking. From age 13 and half to 14 and half it happened quite often sometimes more than once a day. After that it was seldom because he wasn’t that much around he was studying to become a pilot.


At age 21 I was studying travel and tourism in Lillehammer. I was home for the weekend, after 9/11. He came on to me on the sofa in the livingroom. He had condom his time, but I remember it broke. I didn’t think much of it. A couple weekend later I went to England with some friends and I wet to meet a guy. I staid one night something I shouldn’t had… He came on to me in middle of the night and i froze up, I got raped. I later found out I was pregnant and all I thought was that the guy in England was the father to that child. I wasn’t ready for parenthood. I got an abortion. I found out during the court case in 2010 and got my medical record that the abuser was father of the fetus I aborted.


I started seeing a therapist at college. She told me I wasn’t been raped only my normal reaction to intimacy. But I didn’t wanted that to happened, I hadn’t given consent then it is rape. She talked me out of it and suggested I kept a relationship to him. I did and got a beautiful boy with him and got married. That didn’t last more than 2 years and I got divorced.

After the divorce I have tried to have relationship but it hasn’t worked out. I was naked with a man 5 years ago but nothing happened.

I am now in a relationship with an American man for two years, but we haven’t met yet neither have we talked on the phone or live chat. We only chat in messages. I hope to move together with him this autumn in USA.


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