When loosing my mind…

I seem to have gone down a very wrong road loosing my mind… Thinking and believing so wrong. Not even knowing who I have been talking to or even been in love with all these years. Life a big Hoax all together? Someone made me believe as if he was in love with me.

Trapped with an x game I didn’t ask for… Well I ain’t going to any Grizzly, take your mind game elsewhere whoever you are.

When something steals your mind and drags you around…

Not knowing who I am anymore… At least no ones mirror.

I haven’t lost my love for country music that I won’t loose. Or my son, I am a mom, I love to go for walks, jog, eat out and see new places.

One thing is certain I am no trophy to be hunted on. Date me for real…. Take your time… Right now I am lost and no good for anyone…

In treatment…

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Like Trapped In A Hurricane

Feel like my world spins

Round and round

Out flies old memories

Like trapped in a hurricane

 

Writings on the ground

Writings on the walls

Words and numbers

Like trapped in a hurricane

 

Like the movie

A Beautiful mind

My world spins

Like trapped in a hurricane

 

My mind a little lost

How was I to be born

On that island leading me into

Like trapped in a hurricane

 

Reality and dreams

A perfect plan

To drive me crazy

Like trapped in a hurricane

 

God was to take me home

To Tennessee

Where I am to be

Like trapped in a hurricane

 

So this is how

No mans land feels like

Stranded on land

Like trapped in a hurricane

Janne Helen February 2018

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Happy New Year

I spent the holidays in hotel. But took a trip to Florida and some beach life for the New Years. I enjoyed it very much, even though a little chilly in between the days where I went.

I see the Norwegian law system seem to have woken up to a better meaning for people struggling with restraint orders and opposite violent alarms. Broadened it to count for a whole county. It helped talking about it in the end, but not for me. I fled the country. On tourist visa until end February at least.

Glad there is no snow here where I am yet. My MS is still doing alright despite no medicines. Supposed to start new ones soon.

Haven’t met Mr wonderful yet and don’t know when that will happen ❤ He too busy…

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Left Norway…

I have now left Norway and for good I hope most for. I be on the move…

Freedom isn’t easy to get and it needs time for healing and alone time… I haven’t met my angel yet, but hopefully soon, he seems to be very busy ❤

I enjoy my time here where I am. Getting used to the food and people are kind and helpful. Here I can be me and talk about whatever.

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Feels Good

After I crashed in the bottom of my stairs outside in August last year I gained a lot of weight. But this summer I got back in excersising after a long wait for physiotherapy after my MRI last december. See Norwegian healthsystem, lets wait and see what happens… (I usually say we got good time in dying living here being ill in any form)…

I feel much better healthwise and it feels so good being able to jog again, can’t remember last time I did, maybe it was lillehammer 2003?

So From this June 2017:

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To This November 2017:

20171104_222529

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To The Loosers The Devils

This one is for you

Who thought I would

Take you back

 

You thought

I might wait forever

You watched me hurt

Thought I would wait

I’ll be gone

 

This one is for you

Who thought I would

Take you back

 

When it is too late

To forgive

And there is no

Second chanse

I’ll be gone

 

This one is for you

Who thought I would

Take you back

 

When time is up

And moving on

Is all I can do

Leaving you behind

I’ll be gone

 

This one is for the loser

Who thought

I would take you back

 

I got someone

Who loves me true

Who been there always

We found each other at last

My American born Angel

 

Janne Helen November 2017

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My Friend MS

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When the phone

Goes flying through the air

Or a knife drops

Down on my toes and I bleed

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When I barely get my

breakfast and fall asleep again

Or when out walking

And walk like a drunk without the alcohol

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When my hand

Feel stuck in a closed doorway

Or when I am so dizzy

I can barely stand on my feet

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When I eat and

All I taste is paper in my mouth

Or my thoughts

Go all in chaos in my mind

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When I lost my voice

And couldn’t talk to anyone

Or I stand stuck on

Same spot for ages and can’t move

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

When all it does

Is being in my way

Or stop me

From living life like I want to

 

It’s not the best of friends

To live with MS

 

It is just a friend

One have to adjust

To live with…

 

Thanks to MS it

Gives me days in the sun

So I get valuable D-vitamins

So I can live longer

And have better days

Living with you

Stuck in my body

 

Janne Helen Oktober 2017

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