The small daily things that I used to react to with a freeze in my body. White T-shirts like a scary ghost. I couldn’t stand people wearing white T-shirts. That meant everyone, young and old ones. I sat on the bus and several was wearing them and suddenly I thought to myself “Have I finally gotten past this nightmare” ? Seemingly I must have gotten that far now. That is progress in healing a wound that been stuck in my body and mind for decades. Life is getting better, but doesn’t mean that it will be okay ever that he can get close to me again. My body never forgives what he did.
All this other nonsence with this world thing that I have messed up my mind with is slowly letting go too. It is all just something I wish I hadn’t spin my head into. I been dazed and confused as my last therapist called me to have been. Medication helps a lot to get my mind back on the right track.