Today I went to a meeting and I staied focused on beeing present and not to take a trip in my mind about all sorts, as that was my way of thinking to survive all these years.. Getting away from the abuse and the evil that happend. But this meeting was not abusive and not evil, that is what I was trying to focus on. But my mind had to take a trip anyway… (My little secret where the trip went). It was a short one, one of the shortest I can remember having anyway. …
I begin to realise how badly affected and damaged I really am from the years of abuse.. The many trips in my mind far away just to survive the present, but not being in the present :-S The way he stole my life, my mind and ME..
It still angers me he got away with it with ony 2 years :-O … Clearly NOT READY TO MAKE NICE 😛
I surely hope now that I am more aware of my trips I can stay more present, and learn myself ways to bring myself back to the present again. If people find me gone, it is not their fault or not even being boring, it is just simply that I have taken way too many trips to be able to adjust to the present in a good way. Bear with me I will get there one day..