I wished I could be at work like a lot of other people, but there is a lot of other people that don’t work for their reasons too.

My body has said stop, mentally and physically. Mentally I am not that well because as soon as I am standing still consentrating working, then the abuse appears automatically and I HAVE to talk about them or I am not able to consentrate about the job I am doing. It shows that it comes to a HAULT… It wouldn’t be very desent being a politician standing up to preach about sick abusing acts. I don’t think there is any other workplace where it would be accepted to talk about these things either…

Physically I have started dropping things to the floor or more correct to say throwing them around. My phone has felt the hard surface a few times. So far I manage to keep my cooking within my pans at least.

My body is saying stop on other fields too. I can’t feel the difference between hot and cold, soft or hard, not even wet or dry anymore. … If I am baking a bun it can end up as flatbread instead, take the egg too hard, or place wet clothes in my closet…

I DON’T like MY daily living! But it has become like this…

I have a goal to get back to working life. I AM! … Get back controll of my body and my thoughts. How long time will it take? … I hope for a job from New years, I can at least have a hope for it. “The future will become better”, it’s about time it starts becoming better now… Well I am better off than I was 4 years ago, I won’t COMPLAIN about that, but better than how I am mentally and physically right NOW.