On the run and can’t stop

I have had this feeling of be on the run ever since the abuse started when I was just 4 years old. I’m now 31 and being on the run for all my life does drain on me. I did report him, hoped it would stop, at least slow down, but I still feel it and I struggle. It is tiring me out… I feel like I am pulling a truckload after me, but the one thing is, there is no truck there anymore. He has a restraint order and has admitted it all.

So how do I stop running? How do I get cut off from that nothing that still is holding me back? … I know that it will take time to heal so I supose I have to just let time take it’s healing… 27 years on the run is a lot of time… I can hope it won’t take another 27 to fully stop :-O

I hope you understand what I am talking about. Being on the run in my mind and in myself. I wouldn’t let him steal all of me. My freedom and right to put my own boundaries. I have to build that from scratch… Anger is my defence and will probably stay along with me until I feel safe enough.

(Write private in the comment box, if you want to comment without it made public).

About Jane Helen

39 year old. I'm single and looking for an american gentleman. Have a 14 yr old son that live in England with his father and family there. Got MS and PTSD.
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