On the run and can’t stop

I have had this feeling of be on the run ever since the abuse started when I was just 4 years old. I’m now 31 and being on the run for all my life does drain on me. I did report him, hoped it would stop, at least slow down, but I still feel it and I struggle. It is tiring me out… I feel like I am pulling a truckload after me, but the one thing is, there is no truck there anymore. He has a restraint order and has admitted it all.

So how do I stop running? How do I get cut off from that nothing that still is holding me back? … I know that it will take time to heal so I supose I have to just let time take it’s healing… 27 years on the run is a lot of time… I can hope it won’t take another 27 to fully stop :-O

I hope you understand what I am talking about. Being on the run in my mind and in myself. I wouldn’t let him steal all of me. My freedom and right to put my own boundaries. I have to build that from scratch… Anger is my defence and will probably stay along with me until I feel safe enough.

(Write private in the comment box, if you want to comment without it made public).

About Jane Helen

40 year old and single. Have a 15 yr old son that live in England with his father and family there. Got MS and PTSD.
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