Feelings…

I aim to get closer to myself and that means also to my feelings… :-S

Most of the time anger gets to me, but can easy get misunderstood by the fine line between anger and being scared. Anger has and will be a prefered defence in the mather, then I can keep people at distance. I don’t want anyone close. If they do, they are really not near me, because I’m allready gone by disosiation. If you want me present fully you better be ready for a fight! I promise you, over my dead body you get close to ME! 😛 … Ask the ones that have tried allready… I’m fighting with my fysiotearpist here at rehab. – Having a good laugh, but seroius in the long run it will be tiring for me and you…

I constantly feel light depressed, and have been diagnosed with dysthymia. I got this from that court psyciatrist. I also have PTSD, complete and complicated :-S

I have to work hard to be happy, and it isn’t often I find myself being truly happy with myself… It all just become hard work instead of just coming natural. … I had to pretend to survive…

I struggle to cry and feel the natural compassion for people… I blame it on her for all the times she walked away after hitting me and not being there to comfort when I was hurt. She thought me not to feel. … I tell my stories another time. And the her I am talking about her is my own mother…

I get help here at rehab, thanks to all the people that surounds me here ❤ They all help me feel and let me be me.

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