I Am Just Lying There…

I Am Just Lying There…

I am just lying there…
I’m turning so he
easier gets the clothes off
I refuse to do it myself
his own dirty job
I don’t want him
to do it…
Sometimes the nice
clothes get torn apart
Gifts from family and friends
He is touching me,
but I can’t feel it
because I refuse to feel for it
I don’t want to feel it.
I am just lying there.
When he leaves he says the most
unforgiving bad words
“sorry, I didn’t mean it…”
Why in his head does
he say something like that?

It flow from the eyes
the pain unbearable
Do I get to sleep tonight?
Will he come again?
Can I lock the door?
Am I still alive tomorrow?
I am just lying there…
I want to scream
but not a sound comes out
I want to sleep
but the angsiety sits too deep
The fright and pain.

(Original “Jeg Ligger Der Bare”, of 19.01.2009)
Janne Helen Tømmervåg

About Jane Helen

40 year old and single. Have a 15 yr old son that live in England with his father and family there. Got MS and PTSD.
This entry was posted in Poetry and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I Am Just Lying There…

  1. lillevinkel says:

    ❤ * klemmer*

  2. Pingback: My Parents… | Space for Janne Helen

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